As always, please be encouraged as you read the information below. I have written this to support you and to teach you something that you may not already know. I myself have a long way to go in becoming the Proverbs 31 woman. This information is not intended to make you feel guilty or inadequate. How can we practice what we haven’t been taught? If this subject interests you and you have a passion for being a virtuous wife and strengthening your marriage, please read and study up on this subject. “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…”(Hosea 4:6). It is never too late to change, and to turn a situation around.
If you are a single woman this information is also for you. Remember that the prince's mother was instructing him to find a woman who already had these characteristics, to make his wife.
Please also re-read the previous two posts The Proverbs 31 Woman, Verse 10, and Verse 11. I want to make sure these verses are presented to you in context so they make sense.
She does him good and not evil,
all the days of her life.
– Proverbs 31:12
She does him (her husband) good. The Proverbs 31 woman only wants to do what’s best for her husband. She supports, encourages, and loves him. She listens to him not only as a wife, but also as a friend. She is concerned for his happiness and joy, not only how he can bring her happiness and joy. She praises him for the good he has done, which gives him encouragement to continue doing good. As a wife are you appreciating what your husband has done, or chastising him for all that he hasn’t done? Is he encouraged by your words, or does he find that he can’t do anything good enough for you? Is he proud to introduce you as his wife? Can he trust that you won’t embarrass him by ridiculing him in front of others? Have you taken the time to discover both your and his love language, and do you speak to him in his language?
It can be hard to encourage and support a husband who doesn’t appreciate or notice your attempts. Although it is hard - don’t look to your husband for your reward, look to God. He is the one calling you to be beautiful in His eyes, and in Him you can find your reward. Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. (Colossians 3:23) Your husband is not perfect and as a human being will fail you at times. Look to the One who will never fail you!
And not evil. As women at times we feel crabby, overwhelmed, unappreciated and discouraged. It’s at these times we must not retaliate against our husbands, but again find our reward in God. Our husbands get wrapped up in their own struggles and disappointments, just like we do. Before we become angry and resentful we need to stop and realize we are to treat them well and not with evil as God has asked of us, not because they deserve it. Just as God has forgiven and gone easy on us when we haven’t deserved it. Be consistent and committed to treating your husband as God desires. You will cause goodness not only to flow out of you, but your husband as well. This is God’s plan. He has given us as women a big job, and it’s a very important task. Are you up for it?
Beware of strongholds that can impede your goodness towards your husband.
- Guard your thoughts about your husband! Don’t roll over and over in your mind his shortcomings and past mistakes. Squash those thoughts as soon as they come into your mind!
- Don’t allow bitterness to take root in your relationship. Look to God to help you deal with any resentment, anger, or annoyance you have toward your husband. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) We must remember that we too are not perfect.
- Stay on top of your spiritual life. Stay in a close relationship with your God. Study His Word, pray, and read motivational Christian books and devotionals daily.
All the days of her life. This is a life long commitment you have made as the Proverbs 31 woman. It will take diligence and a lot of hard work, until death do you part.
In the book Beautiful in God’s Eyes, author Elizabeth George has a list you’ll see below. Use it so you can follow through on this plan to do your husband good and not evil all the days of your life. Again I strongly recommend this book to you. It is so full of information and encouragement. Don’t forget to share this information as you raise up your daughters so that they too can be a women beautiful in God’s eyes.
- Always contribute spiritually. Don’t discourage your husband about God’s plans as Job’s wife did (Job 2:9).
- Bless his name. Allow “the law of kindness” (Proverbs 31:26) to rule your words whenever you talk about your husband.
- Control your spending. Be sensitive to the family’s financial situation.
- Discipline, raise, and train his children. Proverbs 31 is faithful teaching of a godly mother to her husband’s child.
- Encourage his dreams. Fan the flames of his personal aspirations.
- Follow his leadership. Eve brought sorrow of heart to her man - and to the world - by not following him.
- Give your husband the joy of a happy home. Don’t be the contentious, brawling wife of Proverbs 19:13.
- Habitually exhibit a steady, predictable, even-keeled nature. Be sure there’s no Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde in your home!
- Indulge in praising him. A good word makes a heavy heart glad (Proverbs 12:25). Let your mouth be a spring of goodness!
- Join him in sexual pleasure. Rejoice his heart and satisfy him “at all times” (Proverbs 5:18-19).
- Keep up with your spiritual growth. Seeking the Lord regularly is the best way to contribute goodness to your husband.
- Look not at what others have. Be content – and delighted – with your husband’s provisions for you.
- Make prayer a part of your ministry to your husband. Nothing creates a deeper spring of goodness in a heart!
- Now try your hand and heart at finishing this list of goodness! Refer to it daily – and, of course, do it!
It is my hope that this blesses your home! Love, Torrie
(image:we heart it)
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